i used to give such weight to dirty hair, sun dried tears, and letters to the general public about ideas and wishful thinking. i used to be full of things like hope, surrender, and joy.
My life has been in turmoil for so long I don’t even remember what it feels like to have a “good day.”
today i came home after everything and:
the dishes were piled high in the sink.
the dishwasher was clean but not unloaded.
the garbage bag was over flowing.
the laundry basket was over flowing.
there was wet laundry still in the washer.
the bed wasn’t made.
the pile of dirt on the floor was not swept up.
he was home and awake from 6:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m.
he didn’t touch any of it.
maybe i should be grateful i still have this marriage….
today i feel hollow.
like every ounce of energy it takes to even smile is exhausting.